


The Story of a Girl

by lilithtorch2



Series: The Princess and the Assassin [6]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Friendship/Love, Gen, Male-Female Friendship, Nine Days - Absolutely (Story of a Girl), One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Relationship, POV Male Character, Small mention of past abuse, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-22
Updated: 2013-12-08
Packaged: 2018-01-02 06:43:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1053716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilithtorch2/pseuds/lilithtorch2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of how Clint Barton first encountered Natasha Romanoff and his point of view on the events set in "I Will Always Find You." Companion piece.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fever Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. Remember when Natasha Romanoff mentioned how Clint Barton spared her life in The Avengers film? I changed that part in this fanfic. But with all the Marvel multi-verses, I'm not sure if this counts as a fix-it. I'm sure Elizabeth from Bioshock Infinite would have said something about constants and variables.  
> 2\. If you're a hardcore Clintasha fan, you've been warned: This is going to be painful reading because I don't put Clint and Natasha in an obvious or serious relationship.  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. The guy in the comic, [Nerf-This](http://nerf-this.com/for-family/) taking a knife in the mouth and not giving a damn was the inspiration for this story's Natasha.  
> 2\. Ties into Chapter 7 of "I Will Always Find You."  
> 

The blood-orange sun broke through the sky, outlining the silhouette of a committed couple determined to protect each other in their own way through a cold and uncaring world. The dark-haired male gently stroked the red-haired female's face, trying to assure her that everything would be okay, but spoke to her in urgent whispers. He warned her that their captors had learned of their secret dream to leave their life behind and start anew as two regular people, and that punishment was imminent. As he had promised to her a long time ago at the young careless age of eighteen, he would take all of her pain from her. If he could not remain at her side and pursue these dreams with her, then he would rather she do it alone than see his torture, shattering her dreams of a bright future. The female understood what this meant for them, but she still fought her lover on this, insisting that they remain together. They'll find another way. They have to.

And that was when he told her he loved her, but pushed her off, tears flowing softly down his eyes like cascading diamonds.

_Push._

As the woman's grip on her lover's hand loosened and she fell into the darkness below, she cried to him that she loved him, and ordered him to wait for her, promising in return that she would always find him.

And so, even though Natalia Romanova, later known as Natasha Romanoff, struggled mightily to move on with her life, the one thing she still kept locked inside her heart was her promise to the Winter Soldier, that she would one day come back for him.

But of her tale of sacrifice and heartbreak, there was a memory she never accurately recounted, and this is where Clint Barton's story of falling in love with a Black Widow begins.

* * *

Clint Barton stood along the edge of an secluded coastline, observing the other S.H.I.E.L.D. agents crumpled on the sand. They were on a simple routine mission: retrieve an item, fight some villains, and escape without a scratch. Nothing too dramatic. But this particular mission was hindered by something, or someone. He kneeled down to speak to one of his comrades, who was conscious but groaning in pain.

"What the hell happened here? This was supposed to be easy."

"You don't understand, sir—"

That's when an unarmed but wild redhead, her sharp teeth clenched together and her forehead pouring with blood, leapt from behind the wounded agent and furiously clawed at Clint, screaming mouthfuls of bitter-sounding Russian. She was clearly scared and disoriented. This was a rabid animal, wet and covered in dirt and raging at the air. Clint immediately unsheathed his knife and slashed at her to defend himself, but the woman managed to get a punch in before he could knock her backward. When she fell, Clint hoped for his own safety that she would stay there, but instead she immediately jumped right back up and pounced forward. She didn't seem to notice that she was bleeding profusely and particularly didn't care that she was unarmed. His knife pierced her in the arm, but she ignored this. He slammed her again, but she didn't care about the pain and resumed her barrage of attacks. The redhead kicked him and stole one of his pistols, shooting to kill. She critically wounded him before he could knock the pistol off of her hand. As he bit through the pain, he continued to fight her for the better part of the day, wondering what had happened to create her.

It wasn't until he managed to grab hold of both of her wrists that her angry flailing stopped.

She finally muttered something else in Russian, and Clint Barton watched as the redhead collapsed, completely and utterly exhausted.

* * *

The woman was brought to the medical wing screaming and fighting everyone and everything that got in her way. Even when the medical staff strapped her down to the bed, to make sure that she would not hurt anyone or herself, she would still struggle and yell obscenities in Russian and other languages. From outside of the medical room, Clint Barton observed the frightened woman mumbling in Russian and English. "You don't understand," she repeated to no one. After hours of this, the woman eventually fell asleep, and for the first time in the medical wing, there was silence.

"What happened to her?" Clint asked his boss, Nick Fury, curiously.  
"What we know so far," Fury explained, "is that her name is Natalia Romanova. She was an agent trained in Soviet Russia."  
"How did she get all the way from Soviet Russia to…?"  
"I'm not sure yet."

When Natalia Romanova recovered, she simply informed S.H.I.E.L.D. that she had defected from Russia, but Clint sensed that there was more to this story. When she picked an alias for herself, she chose Natasha Romanoff, even though it would make it easy for the Russians to track her, because it was close enough to her original name. Clint Barton wondered curiously if there was something from her past that she wanted to remember forever.

As Natasha accepted her fate and worked with Clint Barton on missions as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, she gradually opened up to him, and he found himself falling in love with her for no logical reason. She was efficient, but she was also human, and he liked how she would try to keep a calm and professional demeanor despite whatever it was that she had been through. To him, this was a tough woman who would not let her past define her, who still allowed herself a small measure of optimism for the future. Even though she would retain an unspoken hurt that would resonate throughout their time together, even though he knew what he was getting himself into, Clint eventually decided to take a chance and professed his love for her. He didn't care that she didn't have an answer to this; he was hopelessly devoted to her. Even though he could never help her wash away her pain completely, he patiently loved the woman with all his heart, without expecting anything in return. All he knew was that he would always protect her from the rest of the world. He would fight for her, and help her make her own choices, the ones that would make her truly happy.

But she never discussed, and perhaps never remembered, what she had deliriously repeated inside that medical wing, and Clint kept this knowledge locked inside his heart, wondering if he would ever need to tell her.


	2. What Are You Doing, Where Have You Been

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint Barton finds out why Natasha Romanoff has been returning from missions looking like death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clear plot hole: how did Clint get unauthorized access? We'll leave that open for speculation.

“I’ll go with you, Nat,” Clint offered. “You don’t have to do this one alone.”

Natasha gave him a look, the kind of look that always made Clint feel like he was in trouble.

She shook her head, “No, it’s fine.”

When he simply stood there, she gave him one of her fake smiles (he always knew when it was fake), told him it was another routine mission, and said, “Oh come on, Clint. I’ll be back before you know it.”

But there was something different about the way she carried herself. It reminded Clint of the first time he met her. She had been a wild woman who was terrified but ready to kill anything and anyone standing in her way, and as Natasha left on her mission, he thought she had the exact same look again. He, as well as the other Avengers, suspected that Natasha would never “be back before they knew it.” She began to work later than usual. When two months had passed, Clint was sure that Natasha would finally take a break, but she just kept going. Director Nick Fury would only say that he was impressed by her dedication to her job and scold the other Avengers for not doing the same.

Clint saw this differently. This was a woman with death in her eyes again and she would come back every night bloodied and hurt and still smile at him and say that she was just fine. She’d keep protesting when he took her to the medical wing. He was never sure if Natasha would be dead or alive when she returned, but he sure needed to be there when she did. The last mission was especially rough on her. When she returned, she eyed all the other Avengers curiously while she was being helped up by another agent.

“What…what are you all doing here?” she asked innocently, before she collapsed on the ground, unconscious, dragging the other agent with her.

Clint decided to confront Steve and see what the other man knew about Natasha. The woman looked up to Steve like an older brother, and Clint was sure that she would have told him everything.

“Do you think something’s wrong with her?”

Steve could sense the desperation to find out what was going on, but he could only shrug. He had no idea either.

“I don’t know what she’s been up to.”

After enduring four months of this, Clint decided to do a little research on his own. Without authorization, he accessed the S.H.I.E.L.D. database for Natasha Romanoff’s file. Her file didn’t reveal anything about her past, so he checked under her real name, Natalia Romanova, instead. And everything fell into place.

Since the fateful mission that brought Natasha to Clint, S.H.I.E.L.D. had compiled this information together as leverage against Natasha, in case she decided to defect again. Somehow, they were able to find photos of Natasha. It wasn’t a lot of information, but it revealed enough. According to her psych profile, Natasha was born as Natalia Romanova and had grown up in Russia and trained under the K.G.B. She was a stunning beauty by the age of thirteen, and it was at this age that her superiors at the time showed that they weren’t above using a child’s undiscovered sexuality as a weapon. So that’s what Natasha had been talking about with their resident psychiatrist, and that was part of the reason why Natasha hated talking about her life in Russia with him. Most of Natasha’s later photos showed her with a boy about her age with long hair and blue eyes. Their faces revealed no emotions but he thought that she and the boy in the picture shared a deep connection. Clint wondered if this was the man Natasha had spoken deliriously about the first day he met her and felt a slight tinge of jealousy. This boy knew Natasha even longer than he did and would know how Natasha became the person he knew today. Scrawled at the bottom of the picture were the words “Winter Soldier” circled and an arrow pointing toward the boy. Right below that was the word, “Alive?”

Natasha was looking for him.


	3. If I Can't Do It, Then You Do It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint Barton asks Steve Rogers for help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ties to chapter 2 of "I Will Always Find You"

Clint Barton felt a mix of reactions to the knowledge that Natasha was looking for someone named the Winter Soldier.

First, he was jealous of the Winter Soldier for knowing Natasha first. For all he knew, they had grown up together. They certainly trained under the same organization. The boy had known Natasha before she was the Natasha Romanoff that Clint knew. More, he could tell from the way that Natasha was so willing to throw her life away for this boy that this Winter Soldier held her heart fully and completely.

Then he was angry. Why did she and the boy become separated? Clint recalled the first time he heard Natasha cry. Some of the Avengers, including him and Natasha, shared an apartment provided by S.H.I.E.L.D. One night he’d been unable to sleep, and decided to walk around the apartment to pass the time. It was at this point that he’d heard someone crying softly and trying really hard not to break into a sob. He’d looked for the source of the sound and found Natasha clutching a bright sunflower and sitting at the edge of her bed, her back facing the entrance of her bedroom. To Clint, this Winter Soldier was still hurting her and he couldn’t understand yet that it was much more complicated than that.

And then Clint was just disappointed. He’d told Natasha that he loved her one day; she admitted to him that she cared about him but didn’t love him in the same way, and he told her he would be fine with that. He even showed her that he was fine with that and, even though he still protected her and took care of her (or “fussed over her,” as Natasha liked to call it), he never tried to force their friendship into something more. Wasn’t that enough? But she still didn’t trust him enough to tell him what was going on, and that was a huge blow to the friendship he thought they’d had. She didn’t have to go through this alone.

But he realized that he wasn’t ready to tell anyone what he’d found out about Natasha, either. Clint also knew that if he confronted her with this, she would only deny everything and give him an angry look again. What to do instead?

He decided to talk to Steve Rogers in private when he got the chance to.

“Nat’s looking for someone.”  
“How do you know that?”  
“How I found out doesn’t matter, I need to ask you something.”  
“Okay?”  
“I think…I think Nat believes that she won’t actually find him.”  
Steve raised an eyebrow.  
“So… I can’t explain it,” Clint took a deep breath, “but I’m pretty sure she wants to die.”  
“ _What?_ ”  
Clint believed that the missions weren’t all that tough to begin with, but she was taking on more than any Avenger could really handle and it seemed like she was trying to use the last of her energy to save this person. That was, if she even could.  
“You have to go with her on this next mission,” Clint pleaded, “she’d _never_ let me go with her, but I know that even if she complains she’ll be okay with you there.”

Clint looked at Steve pathetically.

“She’d kill me if she ever found out I asked you, so don’t tell her I did.”


	4. I Know You're Looking For Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint Barton finally admits to Natasha Romanoff that he knows she's looking for the Winter Soldier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ties to chapters 6-7 of "I Will Always Find You"

Clint’s phone rang as he was about to dose off in his apartment. The screen revealed that Steve Rogers was calling him, and he immediately pressed a button and held the phone to his ear.

“Yeah?”

Three words, “Nat’s been shot,” sent him flying out of the apartment and into the safe house that Steve told him he and Natasha were in.

“Nat, are you okay?”  
“Of _course_ I am, it’s just a bullet wound!”

Clint felt slightly hurt by this, but as he’d known her for awhile now, he knew that she only did that because she didn’t like to have people fretting over her. He ignored her response and motioned for Steve to give them some privacy. Steve told him that he’d just removed the bullet and did his best to disappear into the background.

Clint didn’t look at Natasha as he told her, “It’s going to hurt.” Of course it was going to hurt; she didn’t need to hear that. But he felt as though it needed to be said. While he cleansed and disinfected her wound, he did not talk to Natasha. Frankly, he was afraid to talk to her, because he didn’t know if he was going to be angry or sad.

“Clint, I-”

He smiled when she spoke up first. It seemed to make everything he would say next easier to say. He finally looked at Natasha and put a hand on her face, directing her head so that they were looking straight into each other’s eyes. Natasha might have a great poker face, but he knew that this was the only way he could really see past that.

“You don’t have to be so nervous,” he laughed.

He paused. Clint didn’t know if what he was about to say next was a betrayal of their trust. Maybe it was. Actually, he should be the one who was angry, because Natasha wanted to do everything alone, but he just wasn’t feeling that way about her. Natasha was too beautiful to be angry with. He finally admitted to Natasha that he had known what she’d been doing in the last six months. He wasn’t surprised when he felt Natasha tense up and erase all emotion from her face. He wasn’t surprised, either, when she asked him innocently what she’d been up to. She always did that when she wanted to avoid a question.

Clint forced the issue. “You’ve been looking for him.”

“Who?”

“The Winter Soldier.” When she inhaled sharply, he immediately wrapped his arms around her in a partial embrace, his forehead touching hers. He wanted to show her that he just wasn’t angry, so he gently moved free strands of Natasha’s hair behind her ears and smiled.

“I was just…I was worried for you.”

He knew she wanted to look away again, but he kept her eyes level with his.

“You know, I never knew if you would come back from these missions alive or in a body bag.”

He sighed.

“You finally figured out if he’s still alive, haven’t you?”

When she didn’t respond, Clint knew why. He’d admitted he’d loved her not too long ago; he still loved her. Clint was okay (well, as best as you could be in this situation anyway) with the fact she couldn’t love him the same way, but he knew that even though Natasha continued to talk to him like normal, she had acted differently since then. Anyway, he’d…well, without giving out too many details, he’d found out about her Winter Soldier. After his discovery, he even confronted Director Fury for more information about the boy.

“You don’t have to say anything. I already know from talking to Fury exactly what the Winter Soldier means to you, and I know he’s still alive.”

He only expressed his disappointment that Natasha didn’t trust him enough to tell him about it.


	5. He Really Doesn't Remember You, Does He?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint Barton finds out that the Winter Soldier doesn't remember Natasha Romanoff.

“Sir, you can’t let her do this.”

He’d beaten Natasha to Director Fury’s office, which wasn’t too hard considering Natasha was still injured from the shot. She was chasing after him, telling him that it was okay.

But of course it wasn’t.

Director Fury looked at them questioningly, and _of course_ , Natasha tried to downplay everything. “The Winter Soldier is trying to kill me,” she said in an even tone, “but I’ll be fine.”

Except it wasn’t fine. Natasha’s other missions were okay because she wouldn’t be directly impacted by them (asides from the fact that she came back from each mission close to death, but that was another story). This time it was downright horrible, because the Winter Soldier was tasked with killing Natasha. He was definitely _not_ going to sit this one out and insisted that Natasha have someone with her at all times.

After much consideration, Director Fury suggested that Steve Rogers go with her instead.

Like hell he was sitting this one out.

When he’d gotten close enough to the apartment where Natasha and Steve were waiting for the Winter Soldier, he’d seen Natasha and the man on the top of the building. In that split second he saw the Winter Soldier raise his arm and he knew what was going to happen next. He didn’t even need to think about it; he just grabbed his bow and aimed at the point where he knew the arrow would hit the bullet and aimed a smoke arrow at the Winter Soldier himself.

Clint didn’t really remember much of what happened after that.

He remembered grinning at Natasha and asking her if she really believed he would sit this one out.

He remembered seeing the Winter Soldier. The real Winter Soldier, not the boy in the pictures. His face was hardened and emotionless from killing.

He remembered Steve asking him about his signature dramatic entrances. He always did like to show off; when he was a kid he liked to think he was Robin Hood and stealing from the rich and giving to the poor.

He remembered tackling the Winter Soldier just to get a feel for how the other man fought. He did notice that the other man incorporated dancing and gymnastics into his fighting just like Natasha enjoyed doing. Clint had forced the other man to kneel on the ground with his bow and hoped he wouldn’t do what Natasha had done the first time he met her. There was something odd about the other man’s expression, something he couldn’t quite place. There was something that didn’t make sense about the way the Winter Soldier reacted to Natasha’s presence.

It was like he didn’t know her.


	6. Forcing Him to Remember It All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint Barton desperately tries to get the Winter Soldier to remember Natasha Romanoff.

He didn’t know what to do. He’d wanted to be mad that the Winter Soldier had so carelessly pushed Natasha away from him like this, but the realization that the Winter Soldier couldn’t remember anything was new to him. Natasha was dying for hlthe Winter Soldier, and he would never know why.

Clint would have to make the Winter Soldier know why.

It was an act of desperation, really. It was probably selfish...mmm, it was definitely selfish. But Clint had done it because it was the only way to save Natasha. If the Winter Soldier could just remember Natasha, the way her red hair fell from her face and the way she’d clutch a single sunflower close to her chest as if she was praying and hoping, then maybe, just maybe, Natasha wouldn’t have to die. He needed to ask the Winter Soldier if anything in his cold world actually made any sense. Natasha tried to get him to stop, but he’d shoved her aside. That was the only time he ever did that to Natasha.

“Then do you know what your name is?”

“Why don’t you remember your family? Ever thought about that?”

“Why does Steve keep calling you Bucky? Why does Nat still keep coming after you?”

He could see the Winter Soldier struggle with these questions. In fact, he thought that maybe the Winter Soldier was trying to remember something. And just for good measure, Clint talked about how much he loved and cared for Natasha. But she was never really happy; she kept crying in the middle of the night. She always pretended to be happy, but Clint knew her too well to believe she really was happy. And he talked about the one thing he loved about her the most: how she didn’t treat death like it was a chore, as many people in their profession often did, and always tried to cherish and mourn each one.

This particular tidbit about Natasha seemed to awaken something in the Winter Soldier. Clint thought that the other man was shaking a little bit. Hell, he thought _he_ was shaking a little. He _was_ pretty angry about this, and still blamed the Winter Soldier for hurting Natasha even though he would later accept that it wasn’t the other man’s fault. And Natasha knew exactly what he was feeling. She knew exactly what he was going to say next and she tried to stop him.

But the words came out of him just the same. He knew he was mad but he didn’t know how furious he was at the Winter Soldier until he’d spoken those words, and they exploded out of him like lava from a sleeping volcano. He knew it would hurt the Winter Soldier, and he didn’t care either way.

“After all this, she still forgives you for not remembering. For trying to kill her.”


	7. Thank God Everyone's Still Alive

Natasha had leapt in front of Clint to get to the Winter Soldier. She’d given him another look and this time Clint knew that he was really in trouble now. But she’d turned to the Winter Soldier and put her hands on the other man’s face and there it was. It was the same affection that he’d sensed between Natasha and the boy in the pictures when they were younger.

“You endured so much,” she was telling the Winter Soldier, but the other man was trying to resist her. Clint thought for a minute that the Winter Soldier might actually break into pieces of ice, but instead the man tried to fight Natasha and tell her he didn’t love her.

If there was anything else Natasha was good at, it was being able to tell when someone was lying to her.

“If you don’t, then why do you keep finding me?”

Clint and the Winter Soldier were both taken aback at her words. He wasn’t sure if Natasha was bluffing or if this was real. He wasn’t there with the woman on those missions she’d tackled in the last six months so he couldn’t tell. The words seemed to get the Winter Soldier to remember, because for a moment, Clint thought that the Winter Soldier actually recognized Natasha’s face. The man was struggling to ask something, and Clint was pretty sure it wasn’t the question he ultimately ended up asking:

“Who the hell is Bucky?”

Natasha had screamed at him and Steve to shut up, and he watched the Winter Soldier fighting himself, tearing himself up emotionally. Natasha tried to get him to focus on her and when Steve tried to talk to the man, he only retaliated and shot in Steve’s direction.

Except that Natasha had come between the bullet and Steve.

She really was willing to die for this guy, whether he remembered her or not. He tried to get to Natasha, but the Winter Soldier had beaten him to it. The way the Winter Soldier carried himself in that moment was different from the Winter Soldier he’d only fought just minutes ago. This wasn’t the soulless killing machine that Clint had just fought; this was a real human being. Clint was about to kill the Winter Soldier until he saw Natasha stir and say, “Well you sort of did what you set out to do,” and watched the Winter Soldier hug her tighter. The Winter Soldier muttered something else to her and she responded with the words “brother” and “family.”

He had to call Director Fury to let him know what just transpired, but Clint was confident that there would be no deaths on this day.

Because the Winter Soldier and Natasha were finally together.


	8. I Won't Kill You As Long As You Don't Hurt Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint Barton and James Barnes come to an understanding about each other's relationship with Natasha Romanoff without really discussing it in detail.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This stereotype about guys pops up here and there in my life:
> 
> "Hi, how are you?"  
> "Eh, not doing so well."  
> "OK."  
> "Yeah."  
> "Good luck."  
> "Thanks."
> 
> Minor reference to "How Fairy Tales Begin"

 “I’m perfectly fine,” Natasha assured Nick Fury through the phone. “I’m just a little tied up in something right now.”

“Well, whatever it is, you need to get out of it, _now_ ,” Fury insisted.

“Well, that’s a _big_ problem for me because—”

The line went dead.

“Agent Romanoff? …Natasha!!”

* * *

As they travelled to Natasha’s location by helicopter, Clint Barton and James Barnes tensely maintained their polite, professional conversation, but the two men were really sizing each other up. Clint was concerned that James would eventually hurt Natasha. The man did, after all, try to kill Natasha before. He didn’t care that James had defected from Russia; Clint swore to himself that if he ever found out James had hurt Natasha, he’d beat the other man until there was nothing left of him to beat up. Natasha was willing to die for this guy and Clint needed to make sure that James was worth it. Meanwhile, even though James was confident enough in his relationship to be worried about petty insecurities, he knew that Clint still harbored feelings-protective, loving, whichever-for Natasha. He understood that Clint wanted to make sure that Natasha would be fine, but he was wary about how much he wanted to tell Clint about his relationship. He needed to focus on the mission.

Clint, rolling his eyes, asked James, “Why do I have to work with you again?”  
“Because Fury ordered us to cooperate,” James explained back.  
“You know that’s not how it went.”  
“I know that.”

When Fury told them that Natasha had suddenly gone missing on what should have been a routine mission, Clint and James each offered to go to her last known location and find out what happened. The second they heard each other say, “I’ll do it” at the same time, they immediately shot darts at each other.

Inside the helicopter, Clint caught the glimpse of a red braided bracelet wrapped tightly around James’s right wrist. Before he could remind himself not to ask too many personal questions, he impulsively blurted, “What is that?” and braced for the answer.  
James affectionately fingered the red bracelet on his wrist, but he was smart enough to know that this was a question he didn’t want to give the answer to either, especially since Natasha had the other half of the pair in blue. “Why do you want to know?”  
Clint shifted in his seat a little. “Nothing, I just-”  
“I just wear it for fun,” the other man responded flatly, effectively ending the question.

And that was all they cared to talk about until the helicopter dropped them off at Natasha’s last known location.

* * *

The place was heavily guarded. The only thing that Clint Barton and James Barnes could agree on was that the location didn’t necessarily require any stealth; in fact, they needed to work out some issues anyway, so what better way to do it than to go in arrows and guns blazing?

But James and Clint didn’t really talk about Natasha. Instead, they fought their way through armed soldiers and machines. After five minutes of kicking and punching, James decided to broach the subject.

As he caused a soldier to trip and broke that man’s arm, James confessed, “I still don’t like you.”  
“Me neither,” Clint responded as he channeled all of his anger toward an oncoming sentinel. “You tried to kill Nat.”  
James didn’t say anything to this as he threw a grenade at a group of approaching enemies. “Memory loss,” he responded.  
Clint grabbed a metal pole lying on the ground and stabbed a robot with it. “I don’t trust you. Yet.”  
“I know.”  
“Not much I can do if Nat says you’re okay.” Clint drew his bow and shot down a man who was approaching James with an angry look in his eyes. In return, James wrestled a pistol from another enemy and threw that gun to Clint.  
“Thanks,” Clint said, turning to shoot a man who incorrectly thought he could surprise the archer from behind.  
“Right.” James leapt around another enemy and stabbed that person in the back. The enemy groaned and fell to the ground.  
There were a lot of enemies to beat down. What kind of mission was Natasha doing, anyway?  
Eventually, Clint decided to admit to James, “Nat’s much happier.” He shot down a sniper who was hiding in the top of a building.  
“That’s good.” James moved further ahead, flinging a knife at someone’s knee and the other into another person’s eye. James pulled out the rifle from his side and shot some sentries. He instinctively shot the man behind him without looking. He knelt down to grab the man’s shotgun, and as he did so, Clint shot another man who was trying to use this chance to kill James.  
“Thanks,” James said, “I thought you would have let him kill me.”  
“Nah,” Clint promised, laughing, “I’m going to be the one to do it if anything happens to Nat.” He stabbed another man in the chest and kicked him to the ground.  
 **“** You’re a good fighter,” James reluctantly complimented Clint, slamming down an armed soldier.  
“I know,” Clint responded tersely, but returned the compliment. “You too.” He shot an arrow at a bullet flying toward them.  
  
Without really talking about the issue, the two men had come to accept that James was really in love with Natasha and that Clint would kill James if he ever hurt her in the future.

* * *

Clint and James cleared the area and stopped to catch their breaths. As they did so, they heard an explosion and saw the silhouette of a woman walking up to them from the distance. The two men both noticed that her normally sleek red hair was disheveled and that her face was covered in ashes. She looked around the factory, examining the wreckage. When she sees them in the distance, she calls out.

“James? Clint? What the hell are you guys doing here?” And then a flash of realization falls over her. “Oh for fuck’s sake, I _told_ Fury—”

She was interrupted mid-sentence with a kiss from James. Clint noticed that on her wrist was a blue bracelet similar in design to James’s.

“I’m glad you’re okay.”

Actually, both Clint _and_ James had run to Natasha to kiss her, but Clint stopped mid-run because he reminded himself that James was dating her now. He stopped before he could do anything more. Had Natasha ever given him a chance, Clint would have said what James said, and done what James did. At any other time, Clint would have kissed her that way, too. In this moment, however, Natasha is his friend and kissing someone else. He quietly looked on as Natasha’s expression softened from irritation to compassion and she lets James wipe the ash off of her face (without trying to kill James, he noted). As the two lovebirds embraced each other, they spoke to each other quietly and shared secret messages that Clint couldn’t decode.

_She loves this man._

Even after Clint’s reminded himself so many times that he and Natasha are only friends, the knowledge of it still stung. He can still remember having to watch her cry for the Winter Soldier in the middle of the night and how, when he entered the room, she would pretend everything was okay. He remembered how she’d run into his arms sobbing when she couldn’t retrieve the Winter Soldier. He can still see the sunflowers she kept as a reminder of hope. He is no longer her source of comfort; that role is for James alone.

But somehow, for all Clint’s jealous feelings, he is glad that she is finally genuinely happy.

And that was enough for him.

**Author's Note:**

> Playlist:  
> 1\. Nine Days - Absolutely  
> 2\. Panic! At the Disco - Nicotine

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Protection Charm](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1173958) by [lilithtorch2](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilithtorch2/pseuds/lilithtorch2)




End file.
